Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Girls I Used to be Best Friends With

“Trying to forget really doesn't work. In fact, it's pretty much the same as remembering. But I tried to forget anyway, and to ignore the fact that I was remembering you all the time."― Rebecca Stead

Best friends are like this. In trying to forget, we remember, and we can't help but acknowledge the fact that we were remembering all along. 

M- M was my best friend for a very long time, from about age 7 to 14. I went to her house every Sunday after church, and we often had sleepovers on the weekends. I stayed friends with her even though she was often very mean to me in front of other people to make herself look better. In high school, a new girl we really liked starting coming to our church. We hit it off more than she and M did, and slowly we became better friends. I also had a long-term serious boyfriend at the time, and M was very jealous that I spent more time with him than her. (I don't just think this; she told me so). The new girl, B, and I started hearing things about M: that she was doing drugs, sleeping around. We stopped talking to M and made fun of her often. I feel bad about it now. One day I saw M in the study hall in college and helped her with her paper, though. She later became and English major, like me. 

B- Yes, the same one from above. I'm not sure what really happened here, but I think we just grew apart. 

Other B- I met this B when I was a junior in college through my (still) best friend K. B and I ended up becoming best friends for two or 3 years. We did absolutely outlandish things together. She was wild. I was the more straight-laced of the two of us. I can't really pinpoint our downfall, but it may have begun in Los Angeles, where she convinced me to travel with her so she could try out for Playboy. (She had just gotten a boob job). That's probably when I realized she was a bit out of control, but I loved her anyway. After senior year, I moved out-of-state for grad school, and she came to visit me. I was going through the worst break-up of my life, and she was there to talk me through it on the phone and online almost every day. I bought her ticket. The entire time she was visiting she was completely boy-crazy, and the night before she left, she did coke in my car with a random guy from a shady dance club. Then, she brought him back to my house. I was sick, and they stayed up all night talking and being loud. I called my ex-boyfriend (who knew her) and cried. 
After that, we didn't talk for a while. I barely spoke to her when I dropped her off at the airport. Months later, we made up, but her lifestyle was getting more and more out of control. She moved to L.A. and was doing lots of drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd. She went through a lot of personal crises with her family, and I didn't talk to her in years. I missed her a lot and I Googled her once. I found mugshots on the internet and called K. I heard she went to rehab. She just contacted me on Facebook for the first time in over two years. I wish she would have answered my calls, so I could have been there for her like she was for me. 

J- I met J in college at a graduate school event. She was getting a Master's in Nutrition, and I was getting one in English. Most of the time we were in school, we were inseparable, and when I didn't have time to hang out she was pretty unhappy. It all went sour when I hooked up with a guy she had the hots for- despite the fact she had a serious boyfriend. We sort of got over that, but later, things got really sour when we were dating two guys in the same friend group. After she and her guy broke up, he and I were looking for someone to play music with. (I often played at open mic nights). Of course, my boyfriend was cool with this, but ex-girlfriend J went crazy and called him screaming. After that, we didn't talk. The first guy moved in with her "as friends" and threw up on her floor often. One day I tried to make up and invited her out to coffee. She bragged about dating a 40-year old professor. Then she unfriended me on Facebook. 

F- F is one of those situations where you are simply separated by different interests and classes at a large school. Freshman year we were best friends, sophomore year we weren't. Though, she did write a rather nice sentiment in my yearbook. It was a sad situation. 

C- C was my first roommate ever in an apartment. I wouldn't say that we were best friends, but we were close. She moved her boyfriend in, and they left spoiled meat all over the kitchen, pounds of hair in the bathtub, and smoked cigs (which I hate) in the apartment. All around, I wasn't happy. My boyfriend at the time ended up confronting her boyfriend, and it was ugly. I believe he later left a can of Slimfast on my doorstep and put shaving cream under my car door. I was skinnier than his girlfriend. I drank it anyway.

P Girls- P stands for party. These girls get their own section, because even if you think you're best friends with a girl you go out with every weekend, she's not going to call you after she moves. We weren't that close anyway, right? Well, it seemed like it at the time.

Girls can be petty and childish- all of us. It's a sad day when you lose someone who you thought you would be sharing memories with the rest of your life. But, life is about moving on, and even if we aren't ready to let go of some people, they need to let go of us. 
                                                              2 of My Favorite Besties
Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the wonderful humans who are still my best friends. I love you, and thanks for keeping the drama at bay!

*Note, this isn't a comprehensive list, and it's also 100 percent based on my personal opinions/observations in relationships, which could be, as any human's perceptions, completely flawed.